Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Nice Tie, Asshole
College is like the island in "Lost" -- things happen that can't be explained, there are different tribes of people with whom you uneasily co-exist, you're living in close quarters with a bunch of people that eventually drive you crazy, you can't find a good toilet, you don't appreciate being there until you're gone (then you want to go back), and there might even be some time-traveling.
I love it when people compliment one another on their clothing, and we accept the compliment as if it were meant for us. "Nice tie." "Well Thank you." The compliment is for the tie, not for you. But we take it.
But that's essentially the job of clothing isn't it--to get compliments for us because it is very difficult to get compliments based on the type of person you actually are. Let's face it, you could be a very nice person, but nobody is going to give you the satisfaction of recognizing that. No no no. I assume just be a bastard, and try to match your colors up. MMM
I love it when people compliment one another on their clothing, and we accept the compliment as if it were meant for us. "Nice tie." "Well Thank you." The compliment is for the tie, not for you. But we take it.
But that's essentially the job of clothing isn't it--to get compliments for us because it is very difficult to get compliments based on the type of person you actually are. Let's face it, you could be a very nice person, but nobody is going to give you the satisfaction of recognizing that. No no no. I assume just be a bastard, and try to match your colors up. MMM
Friday, March 5, 2010
AutoReply:AutoReply:AutoReply:AutoReply
If I put up an out of office reply to an out of office reply, will they just keep AutoReply-bouncing back and forth? I like this idea a lot. This is what I am thinking about today.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
Conundrumizations
You may have a soft spot for puppies, God, mashed potatoes, and The Family Guy. Or a gripe with Russian Figure skaters, Jay Leno, and cats. But whatever the cause, there is a reason for that emotion you have with everything, everything. It's different for everyone, it's subconscious or steaming out the ears. It's acted upon or pushed into mushpile of emotions in our brains, maybe to surface again, maybe to add to the cancer forming there.
Why is this the way the world is? It's because today my $5 Footlong cost $8.29. It's because as soon as we have somewhat stabilized things in Haiti, a magnitude 8.8 earthquake hits Chile. It's because we polarize a Canadian Women's Hockey team's celebration of a lifelong dream come true. It's because the only commercials that make sense are for Old Spice. I'm on a horse.
So, instead of accept that there are anomolies for why most of the world's daily events just don't really make sense, I will be making my own agenda to control those things I can control in an effort to single handedly turn the world around. Where do we start-the recession? That's our biggest problem, right? Money? Please, if we continue to say that a recession is our single most pressing issue in our world, I empathize with those who never knew otherwise-the Namibians, the Baltimorians, our children, the street performers, the Zimbabweans.
I have a thought. What if Obama stopped our country one day and issued a national shopping day. Yes. We must stop, and we must shop. Tomorrow, you do not go to work-save for those that work in retail stores and restaurant establishments, you will work half days and rotate your shift-then shop. We must stimulate. One day-the entire world spends money. Even Wall Street-you must pause. Objections? It's a thought
Well, stimulus aside, these are the things I will do to change the world by being more sustainable. They are small things, they will not make a difference. So it will not actually take place, but it's something to think about if the entire world did these things:
I will only wear deodorant on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other Sunday.
I will run everywhere I go. To work, up the stairs. To the fax machine. From the pantry to the toaster. Home from the bars.
I will not get ice in my drinks. Or do you think we should ask for extra ice? Which one saves more? More product with less ice, thus conserving water, or extra ice with more product, slowing mass production? I'll just stick with beer.
I will not feed the birds at the park.
I will email you my novel.
I will have happy hour with you via twitter. Nope, but hey, not out of the question these days.
I will wear shirts from 8th grade.
I will feed the dog leftovers.
I will bring a thermos.
I will wear slippers to work-saves sock laundry.
I will not use straws.
I will roll through stop signs to save gas.
I will fly standby.
I will brush my teeth and shave in the shower at the same time, with the lights off.
Did you know that I'm riding this horse, backwards?
Why is this the way the world is? It's because today my $5 Footlong cost $8.29. It's because as soon as we have somewhat stabilized things in Haiti, a magnitude 8.8 earthquake hits Chile. It's because we polarize a Canadian Women's Hockey team's celebration of a lifelong dream come true. It's because the only commercials that make sense are for Old Spice. I'm on a horse.
So, instead of accept that there are anomolies for why most of the world's daily events just don't really make sense, I will be making my own agenda to control those things I can control in an effort to single handedly turn the world around. Where do we start-the recession? That's our biggest problem, right? Money? Please, if we continue to say that a recession is our single most pressing issue in our world, I empathize with those who never knew otherwise-the Namibians, the Baltimorians, our children, the street performers, the Zimbabweans.
I have a thought. What if Obama stopped our country one day and issued a national shopping day. Yes. We must stop, and we must shop. Tomorrow, you do not go to work-save for those that work in retail stores and restaurant establishments, you will work half days and rotate your shift-then shop. We must stimulate. One day-the entire world spends money. Even Wall Street-you must pause. Objections? It's a thought
Well, stimulus aside, these are the things I will do to change the world by being more sustainable. They are small things, they will not make a difference. So it will not actually take place, but it's something to think about if the entire world did these things:
I will only wear deodorant on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other Sunday.
I will run everywhere I go. To work, up the stairs. To the fax machine. From the pantry to the toaster. Home from the bars.
I will not get ice in my drinks. Or do you think we should ask for extra ice? Which one saves more? More product with less ice, thus conserving water, or extra ice with more product, slowing mass production? I'll just stick with beer.
I will not feed the birds at the park.
I will email you my novel.
I will have happy hour with you via twitter. Nope, but hey, not out of the question these days.
I will wear shirts from 8th grade.
I will feed the dog leftovers.
I will bring a thermos.
I will wear slippers to work-saves sock laundry.
I will not use straws.
I will roll through stop signs to save gas.
I will fly standby.
I will brush my teeth and shave in the shower at the same time, with the lights off.
Did you know that I'm riding this horse, backwards?
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