As previously mentioned, here is the unveiling of my rendition of the 2010 Demi Moore All Stars...
My Batting Order for Sexiest Superstars over 40-The Cougar All Stars. Qualifications: Over 40, Female, Alive(ish).
Leadoff: Jennifer Aniston-Unselfish, just gets the ball in play, and probably a lit stick of dynamite on the basepath. Her tabloid frequencies and drama are only good PR.
2-Hole: Salma Hayek-Fiesty and aggressive, but willing to advance the runner and give up her stats for the sake of a victory.
3: Halle Berry-Because, she's Halle Berry
4: Julia Roberts-A knockout consistent slugger and my perennial MVP. Great teammate and good with the media. Home run hitter with looks and very above average acting. She is a proven winner and our most decorated player. Stats haven't slid with age-Our Wade Boggs circa 1983.
5: Demi Moore-Leads the team in RBI's and bruises. Leads by example and just scares the shit out of opposing pitchers. Proceed with caution, may need to be tested for PEDs.
6: Ashley Judd-Great for the clubhouse, keeps things light and is a real fan of the game. Underrated tatas.
7: Michelle Pfeiffer-Woof. If it's the bottom of the ninth and you're down a run with a man on 2nd, there isn't another person I would want coming up for us than Michelle Pfeiffer. Can you say walk off!
8: Sandra Bullock-The Catcher's spot-The Team Leader and Captain. Sacrificial and admired but down to earth and just one of the gang. Making a career comeback after years of being the best player in sub-par movies.
9: Tough Call between Marisa Tomei and Teri Hatcher. I'll go with Tomei based on resume and the diversity card.
Starting Pitcher: Diane Lane-Crafty, curvy, never flustered, the cougar of cougars. This was a no-brainer.
Set-up reliever: Maria Bello-Can throw one inning or three, has the highest "nude scene per movie" ratio of any decent actress.
Reliever-Cindy Crawford: Ziiiiiiing. Still smokin fastballs at 100mph+ every time out.
The Skipper-Heather Locklear, with base coaches Teri Hatcher and Monica Bellucci.
I love it! I saw you post this and couldn't read it, because I was worried it would taint my taint and my lineup, which was still in progress. Your lineup here does show that I missed a couple big names in my considerations and exposed my research abilities as in need of better web image searching tactics. I did not know we could throw in pitchers and coaches, so my team is still incomplete, but I'm throwing out what I have.
ReplyDelete1)Sheryl Crow – 48 – We need base runners and if anyone can deliver a hit it’s this 90s rock machine. Maybe not a lot of power here, but we are manufacturing runs, not trying to strike out. She might not be a boxer dropper, but anyone who grew up in the 90s needs to recognize.
2)Naomi Watts – 41 – Wouldn’t say that I’m a huge blonde fan, and that Watts bumps Demi Moore from the number two spot says less about Moore, and more about Watts. Blazing speed behind Crow and that mix of British and Austrailian accents will melt the competition.
3)Elisabeth Shue – 46 – I fell in love with her in Karate Kid and that earned her a spot on my roster. The rest is peaches and cream. Oh, and she’s still smokin’!
4)Halle Barry – 43 – Power to the fences. I think some RBI’s are cooking up.
5)Famke Jannsen – 44 – Have you seen Jean Gray in X-Men? Enough said. She’ll provide more than enough power following Barry, no one will be intentionally walking anyone in the heart of the lineup.
6)Jennifer Aniston – 41 – God I wanted to get Courtney Cox with her dark hair and blue eyes in here, but I just can’t do it. This goes to Aniston because of her superior presence in the grocery store check out aisle; you just can’t buy that kind of star power and at the six spot, oooooo!
7)Salma Hayek – 43 – latina and boobs, yes! Damelo!
8)Catherine Keener – 50 – Like Jannsen, this might be a bit of a stretch for your superstar requirement, but you won’t find a better smile or more mysterious feeling wondering why at the end of the movie you are so in love with this woman. Besides, we gotta get one half-centenarian in here!
9)Courtney Cox – 45 – I wanted to get me a redhead in this bunch and Julianne Moore was ready in the on deck circle, but I’m pulling her out and sending in Cox. Go get ‘em blue eyes!
Put that in your pants and smoke it!
Wow, I read this a couple nights ago and love it. I was surprised that there wasn't much overlap. Famke and Naomi were close to the cut for me too. I think we need to pick a similar topic, thanks for taking part.
ReplyDeleteAlright, Deserted Island, no way off. scratch that:
Top 5 couples who should never get together because their kid would end up a complete trainwreck.
(I don't really like sticking with the celebrity thing but don't know where else to go. thoughts?) I don't really like this topic all of the sudden. But I'll make a list.
How bout we just make up words and their definitions?
ReplyDelete